All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
