Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
