Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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