A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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