When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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