I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
