Moan for me like Helen Keller
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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