Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
