My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
