i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I want to fling myself into the sun
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
