he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
