it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just googled if crying burns calories
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
