are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What did we do last night that was yellow?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
