DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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