pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
