Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize