apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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