Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize