if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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