Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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