Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
