I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
