After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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