I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
