I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
