thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
