Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She's the barista slut.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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