what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
