Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
