Sober January is a disaster.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
