wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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