In the future we'll all be gay
wanna go halves on a baby?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
