I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize