I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
