They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
