Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
