he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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