Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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