Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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