Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
