So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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