I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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