I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You ate ashes out of my bong
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
