So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You can't just leave with hair like that
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Your penis caused this!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize