I don't think brook has ever known best
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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