I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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