I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All the doctor said was why
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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