not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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