i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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