I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So vagazzling was a success
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