At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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