We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize