We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
