The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
