She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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