When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
