I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
