Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
