do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize