Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
