i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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